And when you need me

Yesterday at Shua’s Memorial his professor read out a poem, ‘Epitaph’ by Merrit Malloy. I don’t feel ready to internationalize the scope of what it actually means.

I’m not ready to let go of anything, especially pain and fear. I do share this poem though, in the hope that it may peripherally trickle in and touch me somewhere, sometime down the line.

“When I die
Give what’s left of me away
To children
And old men that wait to die.
And if you need to cry,
Cry for your brother
Walking the street beside you.
And when you need me,
Put your arms
Around anyone
And give them
What you need to give to me.
I want to leave you something,
Something better
Than words
Or sounds.
Look for me
In the people I’ve known
Or loved,
And if you cannot give me away,
At least let me live on in your eyes
And not your mind.
You can love me most
By letting
Hands touch hands,
By letting bodies touch bodies,
And by letting go
Of children
That need to be free.
Love doesn’t die,
People do.
So, when all that’s left of me
Is love,
Give me away.”

Zahava is one of my many friends who was by my side, with Shua a few days before he went to the hospital, when everything was normal. One of my many friends who was with me after the unimaginable happened, my special friend on whom I could put my arms around and cry to. For that, I am blessed.